The Point
by thewhiterose3
Summary: Coda to 1.20 Ma Ke Kahakai. Danny finally gets to the point.


Title: The Point

Author: thewhiterose3

Pairing: Danny/Steve, slash

Disclaimer: Not mine. Sad day.

Rating: T, for rather gratuitously extreme language.

A/N: Coda to 1.20 - Ma Ke Kahakai. Yet another coda in the _God Forbid, Feelings_ universe. Because, it would seem, that I am physically unable to write codas. But then again, this episode was entirely too kick ass not to. Also, a heartfelt thank you to everyone who has kept up with my fics and commented and favorited, I truly appreciate it. I like hearing your comments, they tell me if it all makes sense outside my slashy slashy head. Enjoy!

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><p>There are days when Danny forgets that he's allowed. Forgets that he doesn't have to hold himself back from reaching out and getting that tactile confirmation. That reassurance that Steve is whole and alive and <em>here<em>. That his luck didn't finally run out and all Danny has left are empty hallways and gaping holes. Or even that confirmation that he's not alone, neither of them are. That when both the literal and metaphorical dust settles, he won't have to go back to his shithole apartment and stare at lifeless pictures and broken dreams and just vacancy inside and out.

Like today, when his hiking date with Steve went from odd to pretty okay to catastrophic. And seriously, there is so much wrong with that. Because he's so entirely not surprised that Steve would drag him out, trick knee be damned, on a goddamn hiking date. And not a leisurely stroll of a hike, running up a damn mountain. Because that's what the asshole does for fun, goddamn freak of nature. And what does it say, what does it say about him, that he followed the moron. As per fucking always, he trailed the asshat up a fucking mountain because really, he can't. He just can't resist that bashful look Steve gets as he visibly reaches deep and drums up the courage to ask for something he doesn't think he'll get. Something he's not sure he deserves. Like there exists a world where Danny can actually resist a sincere, bashful, freaking adorable Steve. Fuck it, he's so so gone.

And then, then Steve pulled out the stories about his father. How this wasn't just your everyday hike through possibly treacherous terrain, this place meant something to Steve and his dad and he wanted to share it with Danny. There are moments when Danny just loves the idiot so fucking much. Because he's trying. Steve is trying so fucking hard to work past his insanely emotionally stunted nature and share things. And Danny just, fuck. Danny knows how hard that is for him and feels like the goddamn grinch, heart swelling and filling him up inside with so much love for this asshole. This idiot who doubted for a minute that he would want to share this, to have this piece of Steve before, during, after his world fell apart. How could he have doubted? He'll have to fix that, he's getting there. And damn it all, he will fucking prevail and convince the moron that Danny wants him, wants all of him; the pretty, perfect outer shell _and_ the sharp, broken edges they mask. This is one op that Danny will never, never stop attaining, refining.

So he responds in the only way he knows how, tells the moron that the pictograph, graffiti, old wall drawings of turtles may not compare to a Yankees game, but he's enjoying himself. Has no place he'd rather be than sharing, gathering, cherishing little pieces of the Steve that he hides, the pieces that make him more human than machine. And the smile that Steve gives him says he gets it. At least a little bit, that Danny really couldn't care less about the cave drawings, but this is important to Steve and Steve is fucking important, essential to Danny and therefore, ergo Danny is happy to be exactly where he is, where he belongs, at Steve's side.

So yeah, the date was going pretty damn well as McGarrett emotion sharing goes. There have been no explosions or stupid feats of aerodynamics or surprise tyrannical gunrunners. It was just Danny and Steve and a ludicrously beautiful view and Steve for at least one moment at peace with a memory of his dad. So, yeah, Danny will admit that he was taking a breath and basking in the moment where Steve could be whole. Past and present, duct tape around the shredded, shattered edges connecting pre and post childhood trauma. So yeah, Danny can admit that his guard was down.

But really, he shouldn't have been as surprised as he was. Because really, who is he freaking kidding? His work life post-McGarrett was already some oozing adrenaline extended action sequence complete with utterly unnecessary explosions and gratuitously hot coworkers. What, he's not blind. But that's not the point, the point is that Danny shouldn't have been surprised when his life fell into bad cop drama cliché land. Because fuck, who, who really goes on a date and really, truly, actually stumbles across a dead body. Who the fuck else but Steve fucking McGarrett, boy scout extraordinaire?

But that's still not the point. The point, the goddamn fucking point is that he doesn't have to hold back, hide away, pretend that his heart, his breath, that every damn cliché came true in that split second when it felt like the entire fucking mountain held still until Steve answered him, said that he was okay, moved. And then he didn't really let that breath go, breathe again, until Steve was up off that damn ledge, in his arms again. But then the Army was miraculously insanely fast and Danny hadn't had time. Hadn't had time to yell and scream and rant about reckless chances and waiting for backup and covering with words while he ran his hands up, down, all over Steve to remind himself that Steve was still there, still with him, hadn't left him fucking alone again. Left him alone and broken and unable to breathe like that moment before Steve moved. And so, so Danny did the only thing he knew. Got to the fucking point. Didn't trust his voice, his goddamn tone to reveal way too much, everything in front of the entire fucking Army rescue team and Chin and God and whoever else was in the damn chopper, how the fuck is this his life?

And so Danny looked Steve in the eye, finally got the fucking point. Pointed to himself. Drew a heart in the air as big as his torso, as big as the fucking moron giant's fucking torso, because really he was just so robustly grateful that Steve was alive and okay and still with him and he was allowed to do this, he didn't have to stop himself. And then, pointed at Steve. It always, always came back to Steve. And Danny couldn't stop himself from grinning ludicrously because fuck, it was true. Everything in his life came back to that fucking moron and the fact that Danny fucking loved him so much that he just couldn't keep it in and the beautiful, the gorgeous part of it all was that he didn't have to. And really, Danny could totally fucking live with that.


End file.
